Tiger Woods’ “Apology” Did we Really Need to Hear that Thirteen Minute Twelve Step “Requirement” Speech?Posted by Rose in Beverly Hills, Celebrity Trials, High Proflie Trials, Hollywood, Hollywood-Madam, Marty Singer, Tiger Woods, TMZ, TMZ.com, Trope and Trope
The stock market stopped for a tad over thirteen (13) minutes as did the world compliments of the U. S. 24/7 as I love to describe them, “Infotainment News” and on Friday even what most of us consider “Real News”; with thousands of people watching just to hang on every word of Tiger Woods on Friday, February 19, 2010. One that had been advertised, and yes I do mean advertised, as in the advertising community paid a lot of money for plugs a head of this speech and for spots after this speech. It is no accident that Nike bought the advertising spot directly after the speech with “The Jungle Song” being played.
I was looking through CNN and MSNBC on Friday morning to just get my daily dose of what is going on in the world. I had missed the “original” thirteen minutes agonizing speech by Tiger Woods, however I did NOT miss the hour by hour analysis of body language experts, twelve steps experts in fact I half expected Woods to apologize to the Hollywood Madam whose newest claim to fame is getting trash shows and rags to continue to quote her about Tiger Woods and ALL of the money she has made. Have her “handlers” a/k/a federal prosecutors and probation officers told her that for the six months while writing her tell all book and doing a tad of house arrest with that cute little ankle bracelet that she might want to keep a LOW profile; but then my take is that would be impossible for her.
However, I regress, what do I know about Tiger Woods let me count the things since I am not a golfer or golf fan, the game to me looks like a slow drip of molasses with about that much excitement so I am perhaps skewed in my take on this.
1. Tiger Woods is the greatest golfer EVER.
2. Because of this he is the richest golfer EVER.
3. Because of this he has a Godzilla amount of Endorsements.
4. Because of those paid endorsements he makes even More Money.
That is about all I knew and all I needed to know about Tiger Woods until the replay and dissection of his thirteen minutes “I have sinned” speech, (flash back to Jimmy Swaggart’s crying confession of having sex with prostitutes. Of course he was neither rich nor talented except to take little old ladies money for his evangelism. DISCLAIMER: I BELIEVE IN GOD SO DON’T GO THERE, I DON’T BELIEVE IN USING THAT FAITH TO CASH IN.) Swaggart’s motivation was trying to right himself in time to not lose too much money. However, it was that repeat performance with pictures to show there was no change that did him in and no amount of crocodile tears could save him. (I could add thank God here but won’t)
So flipping through a twelve step program of things to do I see Woods is up to a combination of eight (8) and nine (9). Eight being: “Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.” With nine (9) being; “Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.”
Now did Tiger Wood’s lust to spend money and lavish himself with things considered taboo to a clean cut all American, trust your children to follow me, harm me? Nope his wife, his children, his mother, a few friends, the boy scouts and his sponsors, probably. Did it harm me that he went on international television to say he had amends to make and he had harmed people. That was a personal choice, in my opinion, that neither helped nor hurt him, however the “24/7 infotainment news world” got their pound of flesh to dissect for a whole news cycle so he sold advertisements for them, but did I need to hear that, nope.
Look he could have said what he needed to say, if he in fact needed to say anything as follows, in my opinion:
1. I am the best golfer to ever play the game.
2. I made millions in endorsements and money from championships.
3. With money comes, greedy people that want part of that money and will cater to all of your fantasies.
4. I gave into those fantasies and all that does is make me one more imperfect person and perhaps one headed to divorce court.
5. I am no hero, haven’t any of you learned yet to put an imaginary “icon” on a pedestal is going to cause that icon to show they have clay feet? Now he probably should have been saying that to parents and children all along during his career. History has taught us when you put the rich, famous, talented people on pedestals, gravity is always going to win and they will fall off.
6. Leave my wife, my kids and my mother alone, geesh people isn’t there better ways to spend your time then dissecting and stalking my family? (he did say that)
7. I am not going to address the gossip of the extent of my indiscretions that is between my family and me and perhaps my sponsors. (At least he did say that).
If he wanted to throw in that there was no domestic violence and his wife had not chased him with a nine iron down his home driveway, which frankly I kind of liked the idea of a beautiful woman chasing a cheating husband down the drive, that was his choice. So if that did not happen then Tiger Woods should have told us he was drunk, mad, sped away from a fight with his wife and crashed. Got it? That is all we needed to know, in fact we were not “entitled” to even that.
He could have done that in less than five minutes, yet we were all subjected to watching a very private person, who had lied along the way in making all that money, agonized over making amends and admitting his sins. Then we spent the rest of the day having pundits, professional psychologists, twelve step advisers and even body language experts tell us what part was real, what was not and what is next for the Woods’ brand.
Which by the way isn’t there more serious news to cover in the world then Tiger Woods?
We now know he is paying a LOT of money to a sex rehabilitation clinic and was going back to spend a LOT more money there. The Google alerts today say this sex clinic has had to put up a temporary privacy fence. I wonder if that fee was added to Tiger’s bill? I am willing to bet the people who run that inpatient clinic and get a LOT of money from Tiger Woods, high five Woods on his return with WOW man did you do good! You only have (fill in the number of weeks here they say he needs) while of course making a LOT more money from Tiger Woods. It is kind of like hookers charge but for now in a different direction for the rich and famous. I kind of hope Woods went to bed on Saturday night back at the rehab center with a thought of F-U, I feel worse not better and ya’ll made me do a super advanced advertising thirteen minute “I have Sinned” bullshit speech. But hey if it will keep my sponsors then it was a good business decision.
Tiger, let that be the only pound of flesh you hand the world of “24/7 infotainment news”. Their only purpose is to destroy people in search of those advertising dollars. Do what you have to do to rehabilitate your image so the money keeps coming in. However if I was you, one day remind all of these people you can do two things that almost none of them can do: 1. Be the greatest golfer of all time and 2. Make more money then most of them can dream about on Christmas Eve when lollipops of greed dance through their heads.
So have we had enough of Tiger Woods and the guy can get on with his life NOPE, there is just too much money to make in following this imperfect human being. It appears to me his main sin was demanding to keep his personal life very private. I hope he has learned that in doing that, which he was entitled to do, but with an imperfect life he opened the flood gates of man eating “24/7 infotainment”. Learn and move on with money and fame comes that occasional pound of flesh the public via “Infotainment 24/7 news cycles demands”. It is just the way of life these days. I do have to say I like how Tiger’s wife Elvin has handled this. Back to the sex clinic for Tiger but Elin will be taking the credit cards to go shopping and in a very public way. You got to love the way betrayed wives get to decide how much money it is going to cost those wayward husband to get out of the proverbial dog house.
YES THIS IS AN EDITORIAL NOT BASED ON FACTUAL INFORMATION BUT MY OWN THOUGHTS ON THE FIASCO THAT IS SURROUNDING TIGER WOODS.
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Oh I am working on the Anna Nicole Smith vs. Michael Jackson investigations and subsequent charges, but those types of articles take a lot of research and links. A fast editorial just comes naturally.
February 21, 2010
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